Failure

福無重至, 禍不單行
fú wú chóng zhì, huò bú dān xíng

Why do failure seems to be written everywhere where I try to settle with? Is it sticking out of my head?

As these challenges I keep on facing seems to escalate, I feel the world is against me. I do what I can to fulfill my desires to reach a better goal, but misfortune seems to be attracted to me.
Or have I created misfortune to myself?

How many times does it take to reach my destination? What does it take for me to be where I belong? Why does it have to be like this?

When anyone desire too much, it can create your own heaven or hell. Either way, you will be engulfed in its own surroundings. How to control your own desires? Should I desire less so it can be balanced?

"Go with the flow," like how others have said.

However it seems I am not needed. More like, this is not the place where I belong.

Lack of fortune, it seems that how it is for me. I can hardly get around being unemployed. How long does it have to be this tough and harsh? Even though I have my qualifications, the opportunities seem to clash with other events. It feels like it is impossible to go through all of this.

"Taking things for granted," like how others have said.
Why? Do no judge me for not knowing what I have gone through!!
When I am not fated to be with the opportunities available. I have to create my own. Build my own door of opportunities?

It feels like I should get out of my own knowledge and explore more to understand what I can be capable of.
However, how much more do I have to endure? I blame myself for not trying harder. Should I care less and be more selfish and stubborn to myself?
One thing for certain, I'm frustrated at myself!

As a failure for several reasons and causes, I continue on to face what will come next. Until I can find a place where I belong...
But will I change..to better or worst...