With so many thoughts that has been going in my mind, I cannot really say I have been doing the right things.
For what I really want to do seems like it is uncertain that I should be doing. But my mind is set. I want to do it. Just that what I have gotten are negative opinions from others which have surrounded me. Only a few have supported with my idea.
Doing the same routine all over again. What is there to look forward to?
When all fails we look for an alternative? Or keep on trying?
When all is not done yet, we strive our very best to complete the challenge.
I do feel I have been disappointing myself for what I have been trying to do seems futile. I can't go to sleep at ease without saying out my thoughts. I can't simply do things leisurely when these thoughts keeps on going in a cycle. But the answer I would hear from others are sometime hurtful. While some would be..words which I cannot described. In a positive way.
I kinda feel sorry to myself for having written very emotional posts the past days. But now I feel like I could stand up again. Funny how I lose all my credit thanks to that. It was worth it.
It is a gamble I have to face now. Whether I will be able to pull myself through, should I dive myself straight on or calmly walk forward.
Through the fire and flames...of this society.
That decision is what I will have to take. To lose it or grab any chances available.
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