The Past: The Innocent

Have anyone of us you would think we never have been in a position where it felt the world is against us?
The feeling when the people we trust simply do not believe in us. Rather put themselves as more of a priority for oneself. Meaning, they think of their own image and reputation while being inconsiderate of how one would feel as the victim.

Now this is a story, for some reason, I have just recollected after talking with my childhood friends a few days ago. But also, after remembering a story from someone else.


In the days when we were all young, we are playful, innocent and naive. For all of us are curious with how and what the world are in store for us while we live on. But curiousity killed the cat, thats what they say.

It was a simply story. It happened when I wanted to go for a toilet break. I was curious with this hole on the wall that was vandalized by some other kids in the toilet. I wondered how one can actually have the guts to kick with force to break the wall. The wall was made out of some material, plastered wall? It wasn't thick and tough. As it wasn't that durable to begin with.

So I put my foot in that hole to see how big the hole was. It was bigger than the size of my foot, if I remembered. I was stupid to be in awe in that moment when suddenly someone came. I startled. My leg jerked and somehow my foot made part of the wall to break some more. It wasn't just someone, it was one of the school's janitor.

With fear in my eyes, I was told to stay put while he (the school's janitor) went off to call someone. I ran..because I was scared and frightened.
Ran with all my might..but I was still in school. So I only went back into class and continued my studies, hoping I wouldn't be found. But I was wrong.

They soon found me and told of my wrong doings. No matter how much I told them the truth, no one believed me. I told my friends, they did believe me especially those who I trust. But without proof, I cannot prove my innocence. As kids, no one can believe in us. Especially adults...
The majority wins while I take the blame for it all. I had to pay to compensate for the damage property of the school. (Not gonna state the value) Now I think about it, my parents didn't believe me too.

It was my mistake. For my curiosity, for my fear, for myself. If I didn't put my foot in that hole, if I didn't run away and stay put, would it have make a difference?

I didn't remember all of this, but for some reason, it just came back to me. Especially when I thought of someone. Was that why I understood that person's feeling of mistrust? I probably did. I probably did not. Till this day, I never have thought to recalled this past. I must have blocked that memory as it was unwanted.

But I learned my lesson. Whether I understood of the situation back then and think about it now, I couldn't believe this part of my memory came back to me.
Then again, from a manga, One Piece, (I forgot which chapter) but the anime episode 496, the thought of the character, Sabo, is somewhat similar to what I think of how adults are. Well...his story was a tragic ending anyway. Its still fictional yet touching.

The past is the past. As what we carry in the present is the burden we had from the past. Whether we truly learned our lesson and realized to be a better person, that is up to anyone of us to take the step forward.
So, have "you" felt that "you" are the innocent one yet no one was there to believe in "you"?
I have and this what have made me to who I am today.